Tonight, I finished TFiOS after buying it in an airport kiosk six days before. I have several good reasons for not finishing it sooner. I didn't want to break down crying in Spanish class, for one, and I was out of town for most of the time that I had it. But really, aside from it being incredibly sad, I didn't want it to end.
I'm not a crier, normally. There have been like three books that I've read that have made me cry, and TFiOS bypassed them all in frequency of crying and the amount I did. I was crying, hard, when I finished it. It's incredibly heartbreaking, and incredibly lovely.
Hayley Hoover said something in her blog post about not wanting to share TFiOS with other people. When I first read her post tonight, I didn't understand. But when I finished the book, I understood. The emotions that I felt with this book, the passion and intensity I felt for it, I didn't want to share that. I didn't want to share Augustus Waters. It's like Hazel says in reference to An Imperial Affliction, that it's the kind of book that's "so special and rare and YOURS that advertising your affection feels like a betrayal." That's the way I feel about TFiOS.
This book was fantastically written and it was full of emotion and wit and humor. Hazel Grace and Augustus speak in a way that I only wish people would speak in real life. I aspire to write conversations between people that are that poised and witty and intelligent. There is nothing that could make this book better than it is.
This book was horribly heartbreaking and incredibly witty and hilarious. There wasn't a time while reading that I didn't feel something; be it humour or loss or terrible sadness. And that's what I want in a book: to feel something. It's perfect. It's extremely beautiful.
I'm sorry if this post is kind of scattered and inconsistent and weird, but tonight I finished this book that made me feel like my emotions have been taken and tied into knots and put back, and I don't know what to do with it. And now, I'm probably going to read it and go through that again. I don't expect anyone IRL to understand this, and if anyone will it's Nerdfighteria.
Until next time