Thursday, August 23, 2012


I cut all of my hair off today. Like, all of it. It's really short. My hair hasn't ever been this short before. I don't know what to do. I like it a lot.

Also tonight was sophomore orientation. It sucked. They sat us in a bunch of different places and then talked about things that we probably should have already known and then glared when I talked. And glared harder when I tried to connect to the school's wifi on my phone. And then glared hardest when I was laughing even though I was laughing quietly! High school will be fun, won't it? The people there already like me. Or something.

I don't know what this is. I think I give up on blogging everyday.

Monday, August 20, 2012


It's just another day here in super-boring-blog land. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. Just look at the little kittens cuddling. They are adorable, aren't they? I wish I had more to say but I really have done nothing productive today and have no things of relevance to talk about and no lists that need to be made. So kittens. At least they're very cute kittens.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Sunday, August 19, 2012


Tomorrow lots of people start school. A week from tomorrow I start school. This is so weird. I don't know what to do because school. I've spent the last three months doing absolutely nothing except for using my computer and procrastinating. And now like I have to exert myself and actually TRY. On the bright side- Phoenix's festival is in 8 weeks. Tournament is in like 21 weeks. And I'm ready to get out of here. Three years until I graduate. Three.

And now angsty wanderlust girl is gone and I don't know what's going on anymore. It's only like eleven though, and I'm just exhausted. I can't say anything coherent at all, else I risk seeming like I'm high on some hallucinogenic drug. I'm not, if you were legitimately wondering. Just scattered. Just confused.

In a week and nine hours I'll be starting in the place where I will spend the next three years of my life. Maybe I'll enjoy it, maybe I'll suffer through it, but as long as I'm surrounded by good people I think I'll be okay. And the people I know are good, to an extent.

I don't know. I guess we'll see. A week and eight and a half hours.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Saturday, August 18, 2012


I'm lazy and sometimes that means that I'll be in bed at like eleven or so and my computer won't be in my room and therefore I do not blog because I can't be bothered to go get my computer and blogging from my phone is the biggest pain in the butt ever. Two days now that's happened. Except yesterday it was because I can't keep track of time and then suddenly it was like one and I wanted to sleep.

I start high school in just over a week. It's really really weird because, like, I've been into this high school so many times because my sisters went there but I don't really know it and now I have to spend the better part of three years of my life there and it's weird. I just don't want to do it. But whatever.

I could say more but I'm not going to.

Until tomorrow or something
xx D

Wednesday, August 15, 2012


I got A's in my online classes. As far as I know, I guess. That was a nice surprise considering the amount of effort I actually put into them. (It wasn't a lot) Also I guess in the middle of one of my health finals I started to answer an essay question, got halfway through, stopped in the middle of a sentence and then didn't finish it. I have no recollection of doing this.

I slept for like, four hours this afternoon. I couldn't even tell you why, I just did. And now I have to wake up super early tomorrow to get my schedule hopefully changed and I'm not the least bit tired but when I woke up I was absolutely convinced it was Thursday. Still Wednesday. It's summer, I never know what day it is. Also, I try to add a k to the beginning of never.

You know what is the stupidest thing? Typing tests. I would say that I'm a decent typist for a fifteen year old girl who's never taken a legitimate computer class, but for my online computer tech class they made me do like a hundred different typing assignments. And I'm never good at typing things unless they're like sentences that come out of my head rather than random words that may or may not exist. I also make a lot of just mistakes, not like hitting the wrong keys but mostly just thinking that the combinations of letters in words are different than they are. Like I almost always accidentally add an e to the end of words. I don't know why, it just happens.

There was a point to this when I started but then I got super distracted and now I don't remember what's going on but I should probably go to sleep because of reasons you know once I start writing run on sentences it's a sign.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

DAY FOURTEEN- High School.

So I didn't write a post yesterday because, honestly, I just couldn't be bothered. But right now, this isn't about that. This is about high school.

There's something really surreal about the fact that in just a week and a half I'll be back in school, navigating the big, scary halls of a big, scary new high school. This summer has seemed to last forever, and the fact that it's ending seems weird because although I didn't do a lot, a lot of capital-s Stuff happened, and really I feel like this person starting the tenth grade is completely different than the one who left the ninth last spring. I'm not entirely sure what it was, but it was standing in that airport after my final flight home from camp, exhausted and sunburned and covered in dirt that I felt it. There aren't many moments that you can point to and say, "That's when everything changed," but I happen to know that that is one of those moments, although I'm not sure I'll ever know why.

Something happened to me that week in June in the mountains of Albuquerque, surrounded my one of my oldest friends and some of the best people I'll know. It's that same something that's continued to work its way inside me and do something to change me. It may be imperceptible to the people who know me well, this change, but I can feel it and I can see it in the things that I do and the things that I write and the choices that I make.

I'm not a totally different person. I don't have that idea that I'll go into a new school and I'll be a whole new person, who cares about everyone I knew before. I just know that I'm going to start high school without braces, with a new haircut and the capital-s Stuff that happened and the feeling that somehow everything has changed, even if it hasn't at all.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Sunday, August 12, 2012

What is this life- DAY TWELVE

There were about four or five days where I worked really hard on my classes but now they're over and I'm back to the routine I was in where I watch Supernatural and am on tumblr and I play Temple Run. I don't even like Temple Run but it's just mindless enough for me to play it while watching Supernatural and still know what's going on in the show. Soon though, I'll be going back to school.

On that note, I go get my schedule in the morning tomorrow. I'm not exactly sure what classes I'm taking though. Like, I know all of the basics like I'm taking AP World and Physics and stuff but I really don't know what electives I'm taking? Because I know which ones I signed up for but I also know that there are some that interfere with each other. But I'll know in like less than twelve hours.

Also tonight something happened and I'm still not ENTIRELY sure what but I guess Klaine broke up and now the Glee fandom is in this like state of panic and I'm not sure what to do but I am just gonna stay away for a while until everyone gets less crazy. Not that they're ever less crazy like they're still crazy but this one particular thing is really really hard to handle because everyone can't handle the feels omg like totes.

So that's been my day. Supernatural. Tumblr freaking out. Nothing else. I'm an exciting human being.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Saturday, August 11, 2012

DAY ELEVEN- Just ignore me, honestly

Okay well. AVPSY premiered at LeakyCon today. I was not at LeakyCon today. I'm actually quite butthurt about not being at LeakyCon. Everyone is meeting the people that are my biggest inspirations in life and that have, you know, changed my life completely and I'm not instead I'm sitting at home and I just watched Footloose but still. LeakyCon. Crying.

I seriously can't even talk about it I'm too sad. It's legitimately physically painful for me to think about it. I wish that I could be one of those people that is just happy for everyone who got to go but I'm not. I'm taking this as the universe's personal attack on it for doing something terrible once. I was okay with it during VidCon. I'm not okay with it now.

I actually just stopped blogging. I don't remember why, I think I just got distracted. But I have about four minutes until my battery starts to yell at me and say that I have to stop using it or it'll die, so gonna rap this up because it actually just yelled at me so now I have probably two minutes until it dies. So bad post. I don't know what you expect at this point

Until tomorrow
xx D

Friday, August 10, 2012


I just finished my last assignment of my online classes and I'm so physically and mentally exhausted that I can no longer form coherent sentences. It got to a point where I thought I needed a works cited page for a letter I had to write. That's where I am right now. It's midnight. I just logged onto tumblr for the first time in days. It feels nice. I'll do something less dumb tomorrow, count on it.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Wednesday, August 8, 2012


There's something really beautiful about two A.M.
When everything is still and quiet and I can be truly alone, reading without regret.
Two A.M. is silent if you want it to be, tranquil, alone with a good book.
Two A.M is loud if you want it to be, silly, in a warm place with good friends.
Everything is more honest at two A.M. When it's dark and it's beautiful and everyone is likely to forget when they wake up in the morning.
Nothing is seems to be real at two A.M. The books, the music, the movies, the company. It's all there, until all of the sudden it's not. Until sleep gets in the way. And then in the morning, nothing is the same.
There's something about two A.M that seems inherently romantic. Safe. Like no one can touch you in your little corner of the world unless you invite them.
Nothing matters at this time at night. Everything matters at this time at night. You're allowed to worry or to be carefree. No one can judge you when it's two A.M. No one can touch you.
There's something really beautiful about two A.M.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

I really hate online classes: DAY SEVEN

This is a list of things I would rather do than doing the work I should do
  • Tumblr
  • Supernatural
  • Read
  • Blog
  • Catch the fly that's been in my house
  • Sleep
  • Facebook
  • Make a queue for my tumblr
  • ((I'm morally opposed to queues))
  • ((Well, maybe not morally))
  • Go back in time and convince myself that I don't want to take classes online
  • Time travel actually that would be fun
  • Absolutely
  • Anything
  • Really
  • Hate
  • These
  • Classes
So I guess that's a thing I did
Until tomorrow
xx D

Monday, August 6, 2012

Bullet points gallore: DAY SIX

Maybe this month will just be the BEDA of lists. So now it's things I'm excited for. In the near future, not so near future, whatever. A list.
  • The eleventh of August
  • Sophomore orientation
  • High school
  • Basketball tournament
  • Greek fest
  • To finish Supernatural
  • 2013
  • Yearbook in high school
  • Theater
  • Summer 2013
  • Catching Fire
  • There's probably more but 
  • Until tomorrow
  • xx D

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Well... DAY FIVE

I suck at this blogging thing because again it's twenty past eleven and I forgot I was supposed to do it. I just watched the first episode of Unblock the Smile Trap that I had ever seen. It was actually the third episode of it. And it was an hour long. I wasn't expecting to watch the whole thing because it was an hour long but tis so freaking funny. I started reading old BEDA's from last August to see what I talked about back then and oh man it makes me cringe trying to read those. But like the thing is, a year is a long time and a whole lot has changed since then.

A year ago I hadn't made a tumblr. I didn't know any of the people I know on the internet now. I hadn't ever written fifty thousand words on one (really, really awful) project. I hadn't read any John Green books a year ago. This was before I started dancing again, before I had ever legitimately auditioned for something. I hadn't gone through freshman year and it was before I had been a large part of creating something tangible that almost every student that went to my school possessed. A year ago I had never walked up thirteen flights of stairs in a pair of heels that was just barely too small for me because my friends wanted to. I hadn't seen most of the StarKid musicals or any of Supernatural or One Tree Hill. I hadn't ever met an author or gone to a book signing.

I can't imagine how my life was a year ago. It was just a year and that seems like it was so short, honestly, but so much has happened in this year. I've met so many fantastic people and had so many really really great experiences and it's weird thinking that if my life hadn't gone exactly the way it had, this wouldn't have ever happened. It's kinda crazy, really.

Well this blog post took a turn to a place that I hadn't expected for it. Four minutes before midnight. Good.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Day Four

Again I've found that it's twenty past eleven and I haven't written this thing. I had a concept in mind for a post but it's going to take more than forty minutes to do so that'll happen tomorrow. So okay today my sister and her fiance came over and brought me my birthday present and now I have a really pretty new pair of nice headphones so that's brilliant.

Also today I almost finished one quarter of my online classes and I'm kinda stressed out because they have to be finished by the tenth and they haven't been but I'm determined to do it. Gosh it's getting to that point where I'm not making sense to myself anymore. Oh man I learned how to make gifs in photoshop today because I finally got it to download and so I made a really terrible gif it's over there it's Jake (MulfordtheDean) telling the world that he's beautiful after spilling confetti everywhere on his head. It has some weird delay at the beginning and the coloring is off because I had to change the size to upload it onto tumblr but I DID IT and I'm so proud of myself. I'm out of things to say now. Probably gonna go to bed now.

Until tomorrow I guess
xx D

Friday, August 3, 2012

BEDA 3: Esther Day

Today is something known in the nerdfigher community as Esther Day. It's the day where everyone tells the people they love that they love them. This day is the reason that I really like this community. I have a lot of reservations about nerdfighteria, I guess, but today this whole community comes together and they celebrate Esther's life by doing the thing that she wanted everyone to do. There's something really lovely about everyone sincerely telling people that they love that they love them. It's really a shame that it's not a thing we do more often but I'm thankful that there is today where we are all encouraged to do it. It's a really beautiful thing and I'm proud to be a part of this community today and most days.

It's really surprisingly hard to tell people that you love them. I've never been good at expressing my feelings and emotions to people and even though I'm not sure people know that I love them, I've always had a really hard time conveying that correctly. In my world, saying something like, "You're such a jerk" would actually translate to "You did something I didn't like but I actually really like you anyway." Surprisingly (not), people don't tend to catch onto this. So yeah, I'm bad at expressing my emotions. But today is a day where I have a reason to push through that poorness of expressing emotions, to tell people I love them even if I think it'll sound weird, or if I don't know them as well as I would like to. I didn't do this as much as I would like today, so now, at eleven forty-five at night I'm going through my facebook friends list and on skype and on tumblr and I'm telling people I love that I love them. I don't know how many people I told. I know that I probably didn't tell all of the people that I would have liked to. But I did.

Today was the day that I remembered what I love about the nerdfighter community and why I love being a part of it. I love a whole lot of people and I like that today I had a reason to tell them.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Thursday, August 2, 2012

BEDA 2: Why do I do this to myself

There are a lot of things that I want to talk about but I'm having this really big issue with transforming my thoughts into, like, sentences and then I say "like" and "I guess" and "you know" a lot and it's just tough. There was a train of though to this when I started two hours ago but since then I've forgotten. BEDA's off to a quality start as always. It's really weird because this August none of the blogs I follow are doing BEDA and none of the youtubers I'm watching are doing VEDA and it doesn't feel like it's August? But it really really is August and in like twenty days I'll be getting oriented for sophomore year and then right after that I'll be starting high school? I blame Erika for the whole ending sentences with question marks she does it on her blog a lot and I follow her so that happens.

It's literally three minutes to midnight right now and I know that it's not technically late if I put it up before I go to sleep but honestly I have nothing better to say right now so there's this.

Also, future Des if you're reading this, this song is real good. Or anyone else I guess. I just like the WWM people okay.

Until tomorrow where hopefully I'll say something coherent
xx D

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

BEDA, we meet again: DAY ONE

So I guess I'm doing BEDA again. It's August today. I didn't realize that until like a minute ago. It's ten thirty at night but for the past two months beginning with the letter A I've blogged and so it shall be.

What was the last thing I blogged? Harry Potter? That was a while ago. I don't have a lot to say right this second because anything else I would want to write would take a while and I couldn't do it while watching Greek. Yes, I'm watching through Greek for the third time.

Today everyone on tumblr went crazy because of Klaine. Ryan Murphy released a scene of them with like a ring made out of gum wrappers or something and oh man it was the best thing of all of the things that have ever happened to the people in the Glee fandom oh man so brilliant to all of them. It was pretty good I'll say.

Yesterday I got my braces off and got a retainer and now every time I talk I sound funny and it's kind of like wearing rubber bands again but weirder and also more annoying almost? I don't know, but it means that I don't have braces on anymore so that's super nice because my teeth look good.

Today there was a World's Worst Musical livestream and it was really adorable and hilarious and I watched it live. I never get to watch livestreams live. But they are a funny bunch of people and I like World's Worst Musical a lot actually it's really good.

I can tell that I've been on Tumblr too much because I start making these run on sentences and then I don't feel the need to capitalize or punctuate them. I'll get back into the blogging groove this month. I will.

This month I start high school. I get to go to sophomore orientation and audition for Peter Pan (I think it's Peter Pan they probably changed it) and make friends and lots of other good stuff. In some really bad dramady this sentence would be the one where I say "This month everything changes" but it doesn't really. I'll just be in a different school with different people. Same life. Same me. No braces. Stupid retainer. Two-word sentences.

Until tomorrow I guess
xx D