Monday, April 30, 2012

BEDA 30: The end

Today is awesome because I downloaded Google Chrome and it's p cool.

I have lots of Bio homework that I haven't quite finished because of tumblr and OTH. Also it's like 12 pages that I had to do tonight and there was this terrifying Shia LeBouf thing going around tumblr and I can't shake it. Plus I really hate Biology. 12 pages. Of Biology.

But I have to do it because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I just didn't do homework that I know I'll have to "turn in." Biology.

This is weird because it's the last day of BEDA and I've done this once before, but that day I actually had something interesting to say. I have nothing interesting to say. A month in review? A month in review.

In a lot of ways this month hasn't been the best, but it's also been p good. I built a great fort and I won games of Egyptian Rat Screw and spring break and music festivals and good things. There's a list of things that make me happy, and when I'm sad all I have to do is look at that list and it's good. I creeped on cute boys and danced with nice people and I never watched HMB.

"Today was one of those days where nothing really happened and I there are these frosting things on this commercial where you just mix in flavor packets to vanilla frosting and you can get, like, cotton candy flavored frosting. I wouldn't want cotton candy frosting on anything that I eat, but that's a thing that you can do" That's a thing that I wrote earlier this month. Not one of my prouder blogging moments.

There were also the not so good parts but I don't like those and I don't want to dwell on them. I liked this month. It made me think about a lot of things that I wouldn't normally, and I like to think about things. And I had nice days and I'm glad that I documented them. And then there was that time that I got rice thrown at me at 2:20 in the morning. But I don't want to talk about it.

Good month. Good day. Good BEDA. 

Until next time
xx D

Sunday, April 29, 2012

BEDA 29: I say like an awful lot

Today is awesome because One Tree Hill.

So there's this episode of One Tree Hill that, like, shows how one hour can change everything. And they like pair off and go and just hang out for an hour and have to talk about things that are on a list and then at the end they have to take a picture of each other.

I find this concept slightly fascinating, because in all of the schooling I've gone through it's generally about, you know, like straight academia and not so much about learning about the other people who are in your classes and stuff. Like, I know that most of the people in most of my classes have no idea who I am and if they do, they still don't really know who I am. And I don't really know any of them either, though I know most of their names. (Not a stalker, just on yearbook.)

It seems really strange for these kids in this high school to have an entire class period dedicated to getting to know someone else, but at the same time, I really wish that one of my classes would have that. Because I know that I'd like to get to know people better, even if I wouldn't like them to get to know me better, exactly. But the school that I go to really only seems to care about tests at this point. Everyone has to pass the standardized tests at the end of the year or, not only will we fail the class, the school will look bad. It gets frustrating at a point to know that these teachers really seem to only care about test scores. I really like to write, for example, but my English teacher doesn't read anything that she makes us write, so I don't know how to get better at it. I know that they do care about us in some capacity, but I wish that they would care for more than test scores. None of my teachers really know me because I'm not popular or loud and they just don't care to. I understand that they have a lot of classes and a lot of students, but to just take the time to know my name without looking at the seating chart. Like, come on, I've been in school for 8 months. That's almost a baby. Plus also, I've been in an orchestra class for three years straight with the same teacher and he doesn't know me at all. And look how quickly that turned into a rant about school.

Back to this OTH thing. I realized yesterday that I'm friends with a lot of people but I hardly know anything about them. I mentioned having to slow dance with people, and these are three boys who I'm friends with, but we couldn't carry on a conversation for the length of a song. That really baffles me, to be honest. I just think that something like the tv thing wouldn't only be good for me, but for other people as well. I don't know, I just feel like I can't be the only one who feels the same way this kind of stuff, I know I can't. I just wish my teachers would realize it.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Saturday, April 28, 2012

BEDA 28: Interesting

Today is awesome because I saw an old friend for the first time in ages.

It's eleven 'o clock right now. Like at night. And for once, I have good reason for not having blogged earlier. I was kidnapped. Not like the creepy stalker way, you see, just like my friends showed up at my house without notice and took me and made me do things with them. And it was a lot of fun, so I don't apologise for not having blogged.

It was a nice day and I made my friends watch John Green's half of Crash Course and it was just fun. Because that's a thing that we do when we're together, I guess. Also, I picked up a ukulele and learned like eight chords so now I know like eight ukulele chords, but I don't own a ukulele.

After all of that happened my friends had me go to a church dance with them and they said it was fancy but it really wasn't and I was forced to slow dance with people. But it was okay, because I danced with friends and it was awkward but in a fun kind of way. And then I danced with a guy who I kind of like because they like, made all of the girls put their shoes in the middle and a guy chose one and danced with the girl who belonged to the shoe. I'm trying not to read too much into it, but who else would wear bright green flip flops to a dance?

All in all, it was just a really nice day today and I really like nice days. I don't get them very often. But one of my friends doesn't think John Green is funny. So that was less than nice. But now it's almost midnight and if I don't publish this that isn't great.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Friday, April 27, 2012

BEDA 27: It's gettin' real up in here

Today was awesome because I had a really nice Journalism class. We overturned the couch that we have in the classroom and built this kind of fort thing and then we went on an adventure that involved pretending to to parkour and getting doughnuts from the choir class and it was good. It was the first time in a while that I've really enjoyed just things. Plus also, I got a 91 on that Biology test I thought I was going to bomb and that felt excellent.

So that was pretty much my day today. Plus Tumblr. Always tumblr. I really don't have anything to talk about today. I'm just watching YouTube videos. I'm still trying for that VidCon thing. Did I mention that? I downloaded a bunch of photo editing software that was free because I have few moneys but I'm trying hard to make this stupid design work.

I don't know, I've been thinking a lot. Not about anything in particular, really, just about a wide spectrum of things. And I've realised that all of those things that I really dislike about myself are coming to the surface. Like, I'm rude and can be bossy and I have a temper. I say the stupidest things and I don't know how to take them back and I can't take complements and I can't give complements. I make stupid mistakes and sometimes I think that I'm smarter than other people. I spend a lot of time overthinking everything and it generally screws everything up. I'm arrogant. I'm whiny. I'm sarcastic. I don't know why the people who I'm friends with have stuck around this long. I don't have enough good traits to overpower these stupid ones. But I want so badly to be the person that people who don't know me very well think that I am. And in some capacity, I know that I am that girl, but I don't know how to leave these stupid traits behind and move on. I constantly want to be nicer and quieter and better, but I know that that's not who I am. And I don't hate who I am, I think I just  dislike the person who I'm becoming. And I hate that. I want the things I do to mean something. I want my writing to mean something. I don't know.

So that went from lighthearted to self-deprecating pretty quickly, right?

Until tomorrow
xx D

Thursday, April 26, 2012

BEDA 25: Into the home stretch

Today was awesome because it was a day that happened. No, it was good because I actually like dancing.

On that note, I started Greek dancing again today because it was all on hiatus because of Lent and it started again today and I really didn't want to go but then I did and it was a'ight. Is a'ight a thing? I don't know anymore. This is a thing that I wrote in response to someone on Tumblr and I think it's kinda funny.

                They’d fended off Devil’s snare, caught a flying key and competed in a human-sized game of wizard’s chess and now… this. In front of them was a piece of parchment and on it were numbers, presumably set up in some sort of order. Above it, “solve for x” was scrawled.
                7=x + 3.
                “Where’s Hermione when you need her?” Ron groaned.
                “If I remember correctly, you’re the one who let her get sacrificed to the game of wizard’s chess,” Harry replied. They stood there for a moment, baffled, before Harry spoke up again.
                “It’s math,” Harry said suddenly, looking up at Ron.
                “What the bloody Hell is math?” Ron asked, eyes widening.
                “It’s some muggle subject. Numbers and all that.”
                “Well you’re the one who went to muggle school,” Ron said, backing away from the table.
                “Yeah, and you’re the one who got the one person who could do this injured,” Harry snapped.
                Ron paused, choosing his words carefully before saying, “Is the stone really worth it?”
                “Nah, I bet Dumbledore can take care of it himself,” Harry said after a moment of thought. Ron shrugged. “Let’s just go home.”

So yeah. That's a thing that I did today. Also I have a Biology test tomorrow that I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail but I've accepted it and am moving on. Moving onto watching Netflix on my nice computer screen.

Until tomorrow

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

BEDA 25: VidCon and School and Laptops... Oh my!

Today is awesome because I FINALLY GOT MY LAPTOP BACK.

This thing has been gone for over eight weeks and it's weird because I've been using one that's old and slow and really small but now I have this lovely piece of crap back and I'm just so happy.

I think I'm out of that weird funk finally. Or at least, almost. There are VidCon contests happening and one of them is to design a t-shirt design and I have an idea that I really really like and even though I know that winning probably won't be something that will happen to me, I think this might make me want to create things again. I really like creating, even if I'm crap at art and have no ideas for writing. Whatever, I'm going to do it. I'm determined to make it through this unmotivated creative slump to the other side.

Another upside to having my laptop back? I can watch Netflix on a screen that's larger than my hand. W00t. I just really like having the ability to right click again. Also, I finished my homework for tonight already and it's hardly eight thirty but I didn't finish it from two days ago because I wasn't in class when we had to turn that in and I'm a slacker. But it's midterms and I have two A-'s and normally I wouldn't be pleased with that but I've been working myself so hard all year and I deserve to not care that much about my grades. Plus, I'm either going to ace the standardized tests at the end of the year or fail them, so the grade I have right now doesn't matter because my grade is counting on those tests. Did I mention how nervous I am for those tests? I'm okay.

So, I missed math two days ago because the band and orchestra had to walk over to the elementary school to play for the children and so the last song we played was the Pirates of the Caribbean theme and there was this gong that was behind the orchestra and in front of the band. So these kids in the band bring this little six year old boy up to hit the gong and start the song. Now, the band knew that the song was going to start there, but the orchestra didn't, so the kid hits the gong and the band starts playing but we're all just standing there, like four measures behind because we didn't know it was going to start. My orchestra teacher really is great.

Well that's all for today, I still have to finish that math assignment.
Until tomorrow
xx D

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


Today is awesome because it's the birthday of another good friend of mine.

Yesterday wasn't a very good day and that's why I didn't blog and today isn't being a very good day either and I don't want to blog but I can't let myself go two days in a row without.

I talked earlier about how I've lost the motivation to do anything and I feel that way again. I just don't want to do any of the things that I like and it sucks and I don't know why. But right now it's nine at night and I still haven't finished my math homework and all I want to do is cry.

Fun story though: My friends met this guy at some church camp and they've been like friends with him and one of them has a crush on him and I just figured out that I went to elementary school with this guy and was really good friends with his little sister. So that's interesting.

Anyway, I'm not doing this now. I can't anymore.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Sunday, April 22, 2012

BEDA 22: On friendship

Today is awesome because I got to sleep in.

I should be doing my homework right now. I know that I should. But I almost finished it all, so I was taking a break. Now I've been taking a break for almost an hour. But it's okay, because I'm still almost done. Also, I've been trying to write this post since the fifth. The fifth.

I've always been pretty fortunate to have had good friends for most of my life. I've also moved around a lot- I was in and out of four schools before I was twelve. Now, I've never been particularly good at making friends, and being the new girl so often didn't make it very better, so it was good that at the last elementary school I went to I found friends who I got close to and who I liked and who liked me. Then, I went to a different junior high then all of them and we swore that we would keep in touch. And we did... until one day we didn't. One of these friends had been my best friend since the fourth grade. We had gotten into our fair share of fights and we always made up... until one day we didn't. I wasn't trusting enough and I wouldn't let myself risk getting hurt. It was good at the time, yeah, but now, almost a year after the last time I've spoken to her... It just doesn't feel right. We were friends for almost five years... until we weren't.

Well, I got to this new junior high in a different school district where I knew one person. I made friends quickly there; the people were friendlier and more accepting than I was used to. Most of the friends I have right now I made on the first day of seventh grade, and almost all of the rest I met later that year. Then in eighth grade I joined journalism and made some friends who I love dearly and even though some are a year older than me, I still know I can talk to them. That's where I met my friend Rachel who is honestly one of the best people I know. Through those friends I got closer to other people and we were all really good friends, until ninth grade started and we just weren't anymore. It's funny; Rachel is a year older than me and I haven't seen her in months but I talk to her on a more regular basis about important things than I do any of the people my own age. I'm still really good friends with these people who I met in the seventh grade and I like them a lot, don't get me wrong, I just wish I was closer with them. I wish that I had a group of friends where I knew that if I was in trouble I could call any single one of them and they would all answer and help me just the same.

I often hope that when I get to high school I'll have that. It sounds silly and petty and I sound like a whiny five year old, and this post may not survive past BEDA, but I just see all of these people who have, like amazing groups of friends and I get jealous. Yes I have good friends, and yes I have one best friend, and yes, I have people I can talk to about anything, but I don't feel the same about it.

And now I've whinged on for longer than I would normally let myself and I've gotten more personal than I would normally and I've used ellipses and the word "and" more than normal so we're going to stop now, and I'll see how I feel about keeping this post come morning.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Saturday, April 21, 2012

BEDA 21: Maybe I'll finish

Today is awesome because it's the birthday of two of my very good friends who I adore and now they're both sixteen and I feel really young.

I was looking online at my unpublished yearbook last night and it was really weird because I found a bunch of mistakes in formatting and stuff and I realized that no one will care. We worked so hard to do this and make it look awesome, but people will only really care about the signatures. It's the same that no one really cares about the yearbook staff in my school. I think some people think that the yearbook is just sort of created without really thinking about who's behind it. I don't know, it's really weird.

I have to leave for this wedding here in about fifteen minutes so I'm going to get ready. To be continued?

Until tomorrow or when I later edit this post
xx D

Friday, April 20, 2012

BEDA 20: I apologize for this

Today is awesome because Friday.

Almost 11:00 PM. Got distracted by One Tree Hill, computer died, forgot to blog. Good job, Desi, you're really rocking this whole BEDA crap. So anyway, Friday. Haven't watched HMB yet, but I'm still a Hufflepuff on Pottermore. Just because everyone who wasn't BETA is really excited about it, and I'm just still a Hufflepuff. Still not sure I see it.

This blog post was a thing I started twenty minutes ago. I got that far and got distracted. Now it's actually 11:00. That's nice. I get to go to a wedding tomorrow. That means that I may not post on le blog. Or if I do it will be at a decent hour. This right here is quality, man. Quality.

So, uh, I accidentally just closed this tab, so maybe I should be blogging right now. Hm. Probably not. I really like Harry Potter. And rainbows.

I apologize for this.
Until tomorrow
xx D

Thursday, April 19, 2012

BEDA 19: Creepy weird girl

Today was awesome because I had a really nice talk with one of my good friends and I haven't done that in a while.

Today was my orchestra festival and it was good and we did decent and got a better than decent score and that was nice. Basically the way I felt about my choir festival is the same except different. Also, there was a kid who my friend insisted looked like Draco Malfoy. That's the kid that we eventually creeped out to a point where I think he was afraid of us.

I didn't have to go to class today and that was nice except now tomorrow I have to make up everything I missed which is not so nice. And I still haven't seen Holy Musical B@man yet and it's also not very nice and so I'm going to probably do that tomorrow.

I'm trying to read more because I really like reading but I haven't done it in too long. Also, I'm trying to read 50 books this year and so far, four months in, I've read sixteen. I think that's not a good thing. I haven't decided though. Still, a good goal, right?

Until tomorrow when I might have something interesting to say
xx D

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

BEDA 18: Motivation

Today is awesome because I'm cuddling with my cat. She's cute.

It's another one of those days where it's 9:30 and I haven't written anything and I haven't finished my homework but I've watched last night's episode of Glee for a second time. Am I the only one who has those days? Probably.

On another note, I want to start writing again. Like, writing fiction. The last fictitious thing I've written since NaNoWriMo was my LessThanThree submission and it clearly wasn't very good. But I really love writing. I write poorly. I write anyway. Or at least, I want to.

I have a couple of posts in the works, one about friendship, one about books, and then tomorrow I have Orchestra Festival, so I'll write about that. I don't like updatey blog posts because my life is really boring, but I've also lost all motivation to write anything meaningful. Or anything, really. I've lost motivation. That's what the spring has done to me. And I'm trying to get through it, I'm trying to work to be able to get my basic classwork done. But it's hard. I've forgotten how to do work. Also, One Tree Hill.

I really need to get my math homework done. I know I do. But it's so easy to not want to because I'm not going to be in class tomorrow. That's part of the whole motivation thing, though. I have to do things even when it's not necessary. Because if I don't, I won't want to do things that I have to do. </motivation ramble>

Until tomorrow
xx D

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

BEDA 17: Future

Today is awesome because I got someone to agree to let me interview them for an English project.

An actual thing that was just said on Glee was, "I could see it in your face." Now, I'm no quotation expert, but I don't think that's right.

So the counselors at my school are making all the ninth graders do a "Real World Interview" where we have to interview someone in a profession we're interested. Because it's totally reasonable to make ninth graders put that much thought in our future. Right? Well, I got one of the SparkLife writers to agree to let me interview her, and I think that's a good fit for me. Writing, I mean.

I'm pretty sure the theme of this week's Glee episode should've just been "Everybody sings in a falsetto." That was a good choice, writers, really. Way to go.

Hey, one time today my English teacher chose to spend too long telling us about what decisions we should make with our lives. She does that too often for it to be reasonable in any respect. But I just have to deal with it for six and a half more weeks. I'm counting.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Monday, April 16, 2012

BEDA 16: Nice days

Today was awesome because I had no homework.

My computer's about to die, like it gave me that "running on reserve battery" warning and I'm not that fast of a typist but I wanted to do some sort of blog today because I've missed enough BEDA already so, hey.

This is now an iPod blog because I didn't want my computer to die.

I don't have anything to say, really, except for today was a pretty nice day and that was good. I didn't have a lot of stuff to do during class and then my journalism class decided that we were going to get hoodies and that was a good thing. I don't know, it was one of those school days where I just didn't really worry about anything except for trying to finish my newspaper article. It was nice. Like I said, an all around nice day. Here's hoping they continue to be this day.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Sunday, April 15, 2012

BEDA 15: Blogging is hard

Alternately, a post about Easter.

Today is awesome because, well, you'll see.

So today was Easter for me because that's how the Greek Orthodox religion works. I could go into detail but I'd probably get something wrong and I'm too lazy for Google. So yeah.

The fact that today is Easter means that I got to go to church last night for an 11:00 to 2:00 AM service. Then, afterward, the nice people of my church decided that it would be a really good idea to go to a Japanese restaurant and eat some food. That's how I ended up sending the text message, "It's 2:20 and there's a person throwing rice at me." The nice chef decided that he wanted to throw rice at everyone he was serving, one at a time, until they caught it in their mouths. Yes, that's a thing that happened late last night/early this morning.

Also, I went to my grandparents' house this afternoon for lunch and that was nice. I got to see my oldest sister for the first time in a week since she moved out, and that was nice. Nice. It's just been a really nice day, aside from crazy people throwing rice at me.

I should probably be done with this post because I'm tired and my brain doesn't want me to write anymore. But tomorrow may or may not have an in-depth analysis of What Makes You Beautiful.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Saturday, April 14, 2012

BEDA 14: Things that make me happy

Today is awesome because I got to be lazy and sit around and watch bad movies.

So this is a sort of response to's VEDA 12 video. I actually was going to make a video but then I couldn't find my camera and realized, hey, I need something to blog about. So this is a portion of an ever growing list of things that make me happy.

Reading a good book for the first time
Reading a good book for the second time
Watching One Tree Hill
Good friends
Summer rainstorms
The fort I built in my room
Harry Potter
Really bad movies
Really good movies
Leaving my window open at night when it's warm
Christmas lights
Holidays with my family
Understanding a concept after struggling with it for a while
Finally getting a really hard part in a piece of music
Watching YouTube videos
Playing music
When people seem genuinely interested in me
Being called pretty
Listening to music
The Vlogbrothers
My kitty
Poop jokes
Henna tattoos
The Hunger Games

Until tomorrow
xx D

Friday, April 13, 2012

BEDA 13: Failure

Today is awesome because I'm writing a blog post. Plus, I totally aced my geography test.

So, long time no post, right? My last couple of days haven't been the best. Between family drama and my own feelings and having to read all of a book and write a paper on it last night; it's just stressful. Normally writing calms that but I just couldn't. So...

These last few days have been incredibly uneventful, but because I don't have another thing, here.

My orthodontist told me that I only have two more months of braces. I like that. Also, I have seven more weeks of school. That is pretty exciting.

I don't have a lot to say; I just wanted to check in because I'm having BEDA related issues apparently and have failed. But that doesn't mean I won't try. I'll be back tomorrow with a proper post written not on my iPod. Maybe it'll even be about Holy Musical B@man. If I get a chance to watch it tomorrow. I guess you'll find out.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

BEDA 10: Choir Festival

Alternate title: In which Desi is really freaking creepy about cute boys

Today was awesome for a lot of reasons. This post is going to outline those reasons.

Today was festival for the choir I'm in. Basically a bunch of schools from the district get together and we all sing songs and get rated and whatnot. And it was a lot of fun. My school did really well and I got to hang out with my friends and it was really cool.

I had to get all fancy in the morning and then didn't have to go to class at all. I got to have nice conversations with my best friend and felt like I was a part of something. Then we got to like hang out at the mall for an hour and just eat and chill and have fun.

Also, there were really cute guys in the choir of the school that we traveled to so me and two of my friends sat there creeping and swooning at these boys that were singing. Did I mention that I really like boys who can sing? Or something to that effect. Also there was one boy who played the saxophone and then sang and it turns out he knows a bunch of my friends which is weird.

Oh I also saw a friend of mine from elementary school who I literally haven't talked to in three years and that was nice because she's really great. And I don't know the appropriate way tot talk to people. Like really. Also I think that I tend to scare people.

Here's a sidestory: Yesterday me and the aforementioned best friend were standing in the back of our math class because my desk is in the back of the classroom and we were like right next to the intercom and suddenly someone starts announcing something and she freaked out because it scared her and then was all, "Yes God?" and we both started laughing slightly hysterically and then our math teacher walked in and she already thinks that we're crazy and she gave us that look that people give you when you're doing something questionable and through my laughter I said, "She got scared by the intercom," and my teacher just walked away without saying a word. That's why I tend to scare people. End sidestory. End post.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Monday, April 9, 2012

BEDA 9: This has been a blog post

Today is awesome because the episode of How I Met Your Mother didn't suck.

I was going to write something real. When I opened this document I really really was. But then there was that commercial. I don't know.

Today was one of those days where nothing really happened and I there are these frosting things on this commercial where you just mix in flavor packets to vanilla frosting and you can get, like, cotton candy flavored frosting. I wouldn't want cotton candy frosting on anything that I eat, but that's a thing that you can do. Isn't that cool?

This is the kind of day that it's been. I get really interested in silly things and now I don't blogging and mind vomit words. I shouldn't be allowed to do anything. It's not been a very good day.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Sunday, April 8, 2012

BEDA 8: On memories

Today is awesome because I have clean clothes.

All around the mirror over my desk in my room I have things tacked up: Little art things I've done in and out of school (Including an awesome Hogwarts crest,) stories my friend Miranda wrote me when I was sad or she was bored, a valentine from my friend Rachel in eighth grade, a paper that another friend gave to me during NaNoWriMo that simply says, "Losing is not an option. You CAN do it," little things reminding me of camp. These are all little things that people would look at and be confused, but that mean a lot to me. I like it better that way; these memories are mine and belong to me and those who I shared them with.

My experiences are what have shaped me as a person and I like memories because they remind me of those experiences. There are some that I wouldn't share to save my life and some that I like to tell people. I guess that's true for most people. I mean, some people like to live as an open book with everyone knowing everything about them, whereas I prefer to not talk about myself. I don't know, I feel like sharing my memories is like sharing myself and just... Hm.

I like memories. They're interesting. I don't remember a lot of things about my childhood, so I have learned to force myself to remember things now, be it taping stuff to my wall or blogging. That's why I blog and tumbl I guess. It's also why I like being a part of creating yearbooks. I like helping people preserve those memories in some way.

I started this post because I was cleaning out my room and started taping stuff to my wall and now look where it's gotten me.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Saturday, April 7, 2012

BEDA 7: On life

Today is awesome because I found this really cool Vitamin String Quartet cover of Brand New's Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows and it's just really good and I like it a lot.

It's getting to that time of the month again, where I question why I'm blogging every day of my life for this. But I don't want to talk about that. Because if I do, I'll sound lame and obnoxious which is how I always feel I sound and I don't like that. So.

Spring break is over come Monday and I have to go back to real life and real things. I don't want to do that, but that's what happens in life, and I only have eight more weeks of school anyway. I have the worst spring fever ever right now because I can wear shorts and tank tops and hang out outside to do things and it's amazing. I want it to be summer because it feels so summery.

I built a fort over spring break. That was the only notable thing I did. But it was a really freaking cool fort with blankets like suspended from the ceiling and tacked up to the wall and everything. It's all over my bed so I've been hanging out in my fort watching Netflix and reading all break and I love it.

I could probably come up with more things to say but my computer is almost out of battery so I better stop now.

Until tomorrow

xx D

Friday, April 6, 2012

BEDA 6: On television

Today is awesome because I got a really cute new dress.

Disclaimer: I'm really emotional about television.

My sister got Netflix last month and gave me her password, and now I just sit and watch television on my teeny tiny iPod for hours at a time because my computer that I can use for stuff like that has been getting fixed for six weeks. Not the point.

The first thing I did when my sister got Netflix was rewatch Greek. I had watched it around the time that it was just ending on ABC Family and it's just so brilliant and witty and adorable that I wanted to watch it again. It's definitely one of those shows that I will be able to watch over and over again, and I'm not going to lie: I cried at the series finale. It was so amazingly executed and heartbreaking and I loved it so much. That's not the point either.

A few weeks ago I started watching One Tree Hill. I had watched it occasionally with the aforementioned sister and was watching the final season of it, but I hadn't watched any of it until that point. One Tree Hill is marketed as a kind of teenage soap opera, but it's really more than that. These kids, they're just trying to get through life unscathed. It's really relatable in a weird way. Like, these people are star basketball players and cheerleaders and tutors and their married or touring with a band or running a freaking all ages night for a freaking club. They're so amazing but still just teenagers. It's really hard for me to articulate how I feel about stuff like this because I have a hard time realizing how I feel about stuff like this. I don't know.

Wednesday was the series finale of One Tree Hill. I'm only like two seasons into the nine season show, so I wasn't planning on watching it even though I had seen most of the ninth season. My sister kind of bullied me into watching it and by that I mean that she promised me she would feed me if I watched it with her. So I did. And this show that is wonderful and great had just a really lukewarm ending. . They advertised that a bunch of old characters would come back and then it was like... Bevin. Not that really got me. It just didn't seem like an appropriate ending for a show that great. And then Haley was all, "There's only one Tree Hill, Jamie Scott. And it's your home." And I couldn't decide whether I wanted to cry or laugh. It was one of those moments, but it lasted the entire episode. Except Chris Keller is hilarious and I love him. He had like all of the best one-liners in the entire history of dramadies and I just wanted to laugh every time he was on screen. The best.

So I get really attached to television shows. I'm going to continue watching through One Tree Hill because I love it and I want to be them or have a friend like Lucas Scott. And this blog won't stop hearing about it.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Thursday, April 5, 2012

BEDA 5: On books into movies

Today is awesome because I found my old recorder.

From a young age, I've been an avid reader. I have read fantasy books and trashy teen novels and pretty much every other genre. But I've never been a "visual" reader. By that I mean that I don't picture things in my head when I read, so I can't say things like "oh I pictured her differently" when a movie is cast for a book I've read. It's weird, but I read mostly books told in the first person, so it's like I am the main character. I don't know, that's not really the point. The point is that when books are made into movies, I focus mostly on the details. And even there I'm not top nitpicky. I've sat through eight Harry Potter movies; I know everything can't be perfect.

When my friends and I saw The Hunger Games, they were all really put out by the fact that the Mockingjay pin wasn't given by Madge. Now, that's all fine and dandy for them; let them be put out by little details. But after a certain number of movie adaptations, you have to realize that things are gonna have to be different.

Two books that I really like are being released as movies in the next(?) year: The Great Gatsby and The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I'm extremely excited for both of these movies. Not only do I think that Carrey Mulligan and Emma Watson will be wonderful ad Daisy and Sam respectively, but I think it's really cool when books are made into movies. So many more people get to experience brilliant books that way, and there's something really cool about seeing something that you've only imagined in your head. Maybe it's just me, but I really enjoy it.

Until tomorrow

xx D

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

BEDA 4: Music

Today is awesome because I took my violin bow to get restrung or whatever so now I'll be able to play without like ten hairs falling out at once.

So, music has always been a really big part of my life. I've been playing violin for four years now and I really can mark important moments in my life with music. It may seem freaking crazy and weird, but I have like this list of songs that just remind me of things. My childhood or a certain day or a certain person. Music has always been there to mark moments and stuff. When I listen to certain things, I just remember. And it's not always good remembering, but it's comforting, in a way.

There's this quote from One Tree Hill that's like, "You know how you find a song and you just listen to it, like, over and over and over again, until it becomes this, like, soundtrack, until you find a new one? Or, till you wanna forget the things that it reminds you of." That's how I feel like all of the time. Right now that one song is I Must Belong Somewhere by Bright Eyes. It just gives me hope, I guess, that even when things suck and I hate where I am, there's somewhere that I belong. That's what I love about music. It can give you the hope that you need or the outlet to cry or whatever. Like, I'll never get those feelings from writing my own music. For one thing, I'm terrible at that crap. And for another, there's something magical about being able to feel something that deep and that wonderful about something that someone else wrote and sings and things. I feel the same way about books, but in a different way. I don't know.

I know that a lot of teenagers feel deeply about music and they use it to express their angst toward life and post Facebook statuses showing that angst. In a lot of ways I'm that typical angsty teen but I feel like there are things that strike chords deeper than just that superficial crap. And now I sound like a holier-than-thou jerk and I don't know how to fix it so...

Until next time

xx D

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

BEDA 3: Labels

Today is awesome because I have a fort in my room. Technically I constructed it yesterday, but it made today awesome.
(Everything I've tried to write in the past day has sounded pretentious and obnoxious and stupid, so this is what I'm giving you. I realize that it's pretentious-sounding. Also, sometimes I steal themes from sarcaschicks to write posts about. Whatever. Thanks.)

So, people in junior high tend to talk about how "popularity" isn't important and how it's great to be yourself. The people who say this, however, tend to either be teachers or popular kids. Now, I know that I'm not a "popular" kid by the conventional standards. But I have a close group of friends and people who care about me and that I can talk to, and those are the things that matter to me. I know that the popular kids do not like me for whatever reason, but I don't care.

Alright, I've never been one to put labels on myself. I've never considered myself a "jock" or a "prep," because I don't see myself as either of those things. I'm the one who loves books and is sometimes friendly. I prefer to sitting on Tumblr or watching One Tree Hill to going out with my friends. Because of that, people would call me a loner, but I'm not. People have this idea that they have to try to fit into a certain category. Whether it's what other people define them as, their Hogwarts house, or their Myers-Briggs Personality type. (For the record, I'm the weirdo, a Ravenpuff, and an ISTJ.) I can see how all of these things apply to me, but I don't like being tied down to those certain traits. The thing is, I know who I am. And I don't need different tests or other people's perceptions of me to define who I am. I'm perfectly aware that I will never be friends with people in my school who are considered "popular," because of the fact that I prefer sitting on Tumblr or writing to going out with friends. But that doesn't bother me. Unlike many people my age, I'm perfectly comfortable with who I am. There isn't a way that I'm going to change myself. I'm never going to stop being a lover of books. I'm never going to stop aspiring to be a writer, or making sarcastic remarks under my breath that people pretend not to hear. I'm never going to stop acting as smart as I am, even though I can sometimes come off a little pretentious and kind of obnoxious. I'm never going to stop being myself. And no amount of labels are going to change that.

The point is, I'm a Nerdfighter and a writer and a Potterhead and reader. But to put me in just those categories wouldn't show you who I really am. So many other people can identify with all four of these things, but that doesn't mean I'm like any of those people. I'm different and I'm okay with that.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Monday, April 2, 2012

BEDA 2: Introductions?

Today is awesome because my room is almost clean and the sun is bright and I'm able to comfortably wear shorts and a tank top.

I realize now that, in my 50(!) blog posts before this, I never really introduced myself. So hello Blogger people. Here's a list about me:

My name is Desi
I'm fourteen
I'm almost through with the ninth grade
I live in the wonderful state of Utah
I'm a nerdfighter
I'm a huge Harry Potter and Hunger Games fan
Pottermore declared me a Hufflepuff, but I believe I'm a Ravenclaw.
I love Starkid. Like a lot.

I don't know, I'm just your run of the mill nerd. I'm not into comic books or superheroes, but I really like books and writing and YouTube and all those nice things. I also really like Boy Meets World. Not that that's relevant, but I'm watching it right now.

So yeah. It's a little late in the game to introduce myself, and I'm pretty sure that if you've read any blog posts of mine before this you'd know these things, but I was kind of at a loss for what to blog about for the day. I have nineteen posts that I haven't published though, so expect some of those coming your way.

Until tomorrow
xx D

Sunday, April 1, 2012

BEDA 1: On Nostalgia

Hey there guys, I'm bringing back BEDA. And with BEDA comes Why Today is Awesome. So today is awesome because I'm going to be able to curl up and watch One Tree Hill on my iPod and stay up as late as I want because I'M ON SPRING BREAK. But that's not what this post is about.

I'm a very nostalgic and sentimental person. I'm that one girl who has ticket stubs and things that my friends have given me just because they're nice and remind me of things and make me happy. Right now, I'm nostalgic for two particular things: junior high and summer.

I've mentioned before that although I'm in the ninth grade, I'm still in junior high school, and this month is my second to last. Junior high hasn't been the best time for me, this year especially, but there are definitely things I'm going to miss. Sitting on the floor of the arts building with my friends finishing homework before school, for one. And talking during Spanish class instead of learning anything, and games of Egyptian Rat Screw in Journalism. I know that it's a little early for these graduation goggles to set in, but I have to realize that after my last choir concert, I'm never going to perform on the stage in the stupid auditorium ever again. And I have to know that I'm never going to have to get ready in the girls dressing room again. I've had my problems, but I just know that I'm going to miss it.

I don't know that I've mentioned it before, but summer is my favorite time of the year. It's gotten to that point where I leave the window open in my bedroom and it smells like summer. Like, my dad registered me to go to camp this summer and I'm just so ready for it to come. This spring has been unseasonably warm, and I've definitely started aching for the summertime. I miss staying up until all hours of the night talking to my friends via Facebook and watching YouTube videos and writing all the freaking time, even though it happened to be nonsense.

Maybe it's weird to be nostalgic for a thing that you're leaving and a thing that's coming up all at the same time, but I'm a weird girl. I don't know, it's something that I can't really explain.

I guess I'll talk to y'all tomorrow.
Until then