This is what it's like inside my mind

I've tried to blog for the longest time but it's really hard so now I have like three different started posts that I have no intention of finishing in my repertoire of posts. There's that.

Last month I read Candide in a day and then wrote an analysis on it. That was fun. I don't remember what happened in that book because of the fact I read it so quickly.

This is a poem that was written for me on Valentine's Day:

Baby you have me spellstruck
Mostly your butt
Mostly all butts
You are a very cool person
I can’t think of any rhymes with person
I’ll Google it
Oh, worsen
That’s certainly what I’ve done to this poem
Wowzers
Here just have some flowers
I cannot write
My face is growing white
Thank goodness for Rhymezone
Sorry the only rhyme I could think of was bone

Thanks Claire.

In English we've started reading Romeo and Juliet and last year my friend Gaby and I wrote a rap about it (similar to the Christopher Columbus one... We rap about a lot of things.) All I want to do now is tell my English teacher that I can rap about it. It would certainly influence her nonexistent opinion of me.

Oh hey, I wrote a submission for the lessthanthreebooks thing that Hayley and Kristina are doing. I don't know how it'll go because I don't know how good it is but I think it would be really freaking cool if I got it.

The Adobe plugin crashed and now the pictures I was trying to upload to the yearbook site aren't going to be there and I'm sad.

My computer is broken again and so like the entire frame is cracked and sometimes it refuses to turn on for me. So that's nice. Except for my sister is hopefully going to give me her very very old Mac computer and I don't know what kind it is except for it's like six years old and we have to order a charger from the internet so that it'll work. But if it works at all better than this thing I'm using I will be forever grateful for everything.

Yeah, now I'm going to maybe do science homework.

xx D

The Fault in Our Stars (If you're looking for spoilers, go somewhere else)

Tonight, I finished TFiOS after buying it in an airport kiosk six days before. I have several good reasons for not finishing it sooner. I didn't want to break down crying in Spanish class, for one, and I was out of town for most of the time that I had it. But really, aside from it being incredibly sad, I didn't want it to end.

I'm not a crier, normally. There have been like three books that I've read that have made me cry, and TFiOS bypassed them all in frequency of crying and the amount I did. I was crying, hard, when I finished it. It's incredibly heartbreaking, and incredibly lovely.

Hayley Hoover said something in her blog post about not wanting to share TFiOS with other people. When I first read her post tonight, I didn't understand. But when I finished the book, I understood. The emotions that I felt with this book, the passion and intensity I felt for it, I didn't want to share that. I didn't want to share Augustus Waters. It's like Hazel says in reference to An Imperial Affliction, that it's the kind of book that's "so special and rare and YOURS that advertising your affection feels like a betrayal." That's the way I feel about TFiOS.

This book was fantastically written and it was full of emotion and wit and humor. Hazel Grace and Augustus speak in a way that I only wish people would speak in real life. I aspire to write conversations between people that are that poised and witty and intelligent. There is nothing that could make this book better than it is.

This book was horribly heartbreaking and incredibly witty and hilarious. There wasn't a time while reading that I didn't feel something; be it humour or loss or terrible sadness. And that's what I want in a book: to feel something. It's perfect. It's extremely beautiful.

I'm sorry if this post is kind of scattered and inconsistent and weird, but tonight I finished this book that made me feel like my emotions have been taken and tied into knots and put back, and I don't know what to do with it. And now, I'm probably going to read it and go through that again. I don't expect anyone IRL to understand this, and if anyone will it's Nerdfighteria.

Until next time

xx D

Important life events (sort of)

It's been a while since I posted a post that makes since to someone other than myself and that I didn't type up on my iPod, but I have a good reason! My computer kind of... broke. But it wasn't my fault!... As far as I know. Basically the hard drive crashed and I lost everything I had saved including all of my novel that wasn't in my email. So that was nice. But also beside the point. Not that there is one, ever.

I started this post about a week ago and then I forgot I was writing it and it then became moot because everything I had written about then happened. So here's a recap of my life:

 Earlier today I auditioned for the play that my school is putting on. I'm not expecting much of it because I didn't really want to audition in the first place but was bullied into it. Because I'm easily persuaded to do things that I don't want to do. That's a fun fact about myself.

Tomorrow morning I'm leaving for Texas to be holy and do church things. And also to play basketball. I don't play basketball. It's going to be interesting.

My first semester of school ended today. I didn't clean out my locker although I was supposed to. I got an A in math like I wanted to so badly.

I downloaded Skype. I'm still really confused.

In orchestra we went to see the Utah symphony and then it ended with my friend falling on the floor of the bus when we were getting back to school.

The first yearbook deadline for my yearbook class is on Tuesday. We aren't ready. It's interesting.

I keep getting confused because 2012 is different than 2011. Not sure why I don't just automatically realize that.

I got an iTouch for Christmas and then today successfully connected to my schools WiFi and then wasn't able to go on Tumblr during my audition because of web blockers. That made the audition process much more boring because people were giving me dirty looks for having my earphones in while other people read from the script.

Someone who I'm not friends with on Facebook made her status: "You never know how STRONG you are... until being strong is the ONLY choice you have." So naturally, I read it like she was screaming "Strong" and "Only" at me. So that's a thing.

My life is actually really boring so I don't see how this will be interesting to anyone, including myself. More quality stuff is happening up in here all the time.

Until next time
xx D

Obligatory reminiscing on 2011 post

When 2011 started, I was with my friends, running around a freezing cold neighborhood. But now, as it draws to a close, I'm not doing any of those things. I am sitting on a couch with my cat, reminiscing on the past year like any normal fourteen year old girl would. So, to condense the last year of my life in blog post form:
I spent almost the entire last day of my school year sitting in the journalism room with some of my closest friends.
I saw Deathly Hallows Part 2 at midnight.
I met Sarah Dessen with my best friend.
I played on a basketball team for the first time and failed. Miserably.
I stayed up until nearly four in the morning to get into Pottermore.
I was sorted into Hufflepuff.
I made a friend through the internet.
I discovered the world of YouTube and vlogging.
I participated in BEDA.
I performed in my last musical of junior high.
I wrote a novel.
I broke a computer. Twice.
I lost one of my closest friends.
I discovered the world of tumblr.
I started my freshman year of high school.
I became yearbook editor.
I met some awesome people through church camp.
I started this thing, where for some reason people read the crap I spew. Thanks guys. You really don't know what this means to me.
Until next time
xx D

Ramblings from my summer

This past summer, before I discovered that I could ramble toward an audience (of four) about my life, I rambled to a notebook that my friend Gaby decorated that is now falling apart. It wasn't a journal, per se, mostly just nonsense on a page.

I have an entire page, written at about midnight, dedicated to me thinking about what Hogwarts house I would be in. I'm not going to subject you to that horror. But, I am going to subject you to this:

"I think the house animal would be a bunny. Because they're cute, but vicious. No one would expect a Slytherclaw to be evil if their mascot was a bunny. The logic makes sense, I promise. [...] Hey, the motto could be always sleep with a hammer. [...] Welcome to the deterioration of my mind."

"I like rainbows. It's dark outside. I don't like dark. My neck hurts. I don't like that at all. I like Harry Potter. I also like balloons."

"I found so much when I cleaned my desk, or The Pit of Doom, as I like to call it."

"My owl is staring me down. I don't remember his name."

"I just broke a pen and now I have ink all over my hand and my sheets."

And my personal favourite here: "Just thought to myself, 'I believe in love the same way I believe in evil geniuses. Like, they're there, but not easy to come by.'"

I just... I don't... What.

In this notebook, there is also an entire page with just "From her" written in block letters at the top. Yeah.

Until next time

xx D

The Hunger Games

I read the Hunger Games in the middle of last year, my eighth grade year, and I was immediately captivated. I remember sitting in math everyday reading instead of doing my homework. It was so intense, I actually couldn't read it before I went to sleep. It was that good.

When it was announced that a movie was being made from the books, I was ecstatic. Sure, movies from books aren't always good, but I was still so excited. I would spend time looking through people's "perfect cast" lists, trying to imagine who would be perfect for every role. But when the actual cast list was released, I was less than pleased. I had no idea who Jennifer Lawrence was and had never seen her in anything. Liam Hemsworth was forever burned in my mind as being in the God awful Last Song with Miley Cyrus, and I wasn't sure I would forgive him for it. I barely remembered Josh Hutcherson from The Bridge to Teribithia. I was not convinced, not at all. And when the teaser trailer was released, it was worse.

Tonight, however, made the movie version of the Hunger Games redeem itself in my eyes. I kept seeing gifs of the legit trailer on Tumblr, but I hadn't found the actual trailer anywhere. Then when I finally did, it was just complete magic. Every single scene was scintillating, the actors made the characters seem perfect, just like how I imagined them in the mere 2 minutes and 36 seconds of a trailer. I actually almost cried when I saw Katniss step in for Prim, and when I saw Gale carrying away a crying Prim. I had goosebumps and tears in my eyes for the entire 2 minutes and 36 seconds. It was incredible. I was ecstatic.

And now, here I am, rambling about the Hunger Games instead of writing my NaNoWriMo. Oops.

Word Count: 21, 111
Biggest accomplishment: making my 20,000th word be "guillotine"

Until next time
xx D

Musicals and Junior High

Tonight was closing night of the musical I was in, Beauty and the Beast, and it was the last one I'll ever be in at the Junior High I'm currently at. It was sad, of course, as the ending of all shows are, and especially so because I wouldn't be in a musical at that school again. Mainly, it wasn't so much the school that I'll miss, but other things.
I'll miss sitting in the back hallway of the auditorium, doing homework and singing along with whatever song they were singing onstage.
I'll miss the mock "prayer circles" that my friend and I do either backstage or in the middle of the staircase, while everyone did a real prayer circle feet from us.
I'll miss the crappy girl's dressing room where half of the drawers won't open.
I'll miss playing Egyptian Rat Screw in the theatre room before shows, with about ten people crowded around a tiny desk, trying to slap into the game and screaming every time they missed something.
I'll miss blatantly defying my director's rules and talking backstage.
I'll miss helping my friend Geoff into his gigantic costumes and getting really frustrated because I couldn't do it properly.
I'll miss seeing my friends every day after school for extended periods of time.
I'll miss getting into a ridiculous costume.
I'll miss seeing my friends be absolutely hilarious onstage.
I'll miss pretending to help with mic check but actually just standing around and talking.
I'll miss watching my friend Rachel pin people into their costumes.
I'll miss dancing around during curtain call even though we were told not to.
I'll miss not being able to sit down anywhere because of my costume.
I'll miss performing on that stage.
I'm going to miss a lot of things about junior high, but that auditorium will be one of the biggest. Sure, I'm in both orchestra and choir, so I'll be able to perform on that stage several times before the year is over, and sure it's only November, but there's something about this night, something nostalgic, that is making me reminisce over these past three years, and miss so many things that I probably wouldn't miss otherwise. There's something so completely definite about this end that there's no way I will be able to shake the feeling that I'm missing something. It's something that people who haven't been in theatre or something of the sort before will never be able to understand. It's something that is unique to me and the people I enjoy being around. Now, I must go back to try to reach my word goal for the day on NaNoWriMo.
Until next time.
xx D