Saturday, August 27, 2011

BEDA 27: A letter to 19 year old me

Today is awesome because I almost finished a picture I've been colouring.

I was thinking earlier about how I'd react when I read this blog in five years time. I imagine I'll be ashamed/embarrassed about what I'm writing and how I'm writing it. But I also hope that in five years time I'm pretty much how I am now. Nerdy, and erratic, and weird. I imagine that this will be my best source of memories from this time in my life. And I know that even if I'm ashamed and embarrassed about what this all says, I'll appreciate having it. And I hope that in five years time I'm still doing this.

So hey, 19 year old self. Yeah, that is a pretty arbitrary age, but still. Presumably you're at university somewhere. Hopefully in a different state. Probably in a different state. Maybe you've started vlogging, which is something I desperately want to do but am hopelessly clueless at. Hopefully you've made it through three years of high school without having any mental breakdowns. That would be nice.

I wonder if this blog will even be here in five years. I hope it will. I hope that when I'm 19 I'll still spend my time colouring, and spelling things like I'm British even though I'm very clearly American. I hope my procrastination levels have been lowered at least a little bit, and that I still spend excessive amounts of time watching YouTube videos.

I really wish this could be a two way conversation. I'd really like to know what you're up to, 19 year old self. Because all I know right now is that at fourteen you were awkward and nerdy. Honestly, you probably haven't changed too much. 

Basically, right now I'm happy. I'm as awkward as they come, and I often don't know how to conduct myself in social situations, but I'm happy. I have good friends and a roof over my head. There isn't too much more I can ask for. And in five years, I hope I'm the same way.

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