BEDA 4: Music

Today is awesome because I took my violin bow to get restrung or whatever so now I'll be able to play without like ten hairs falling out at once.

So, music has always been a really big part of my life. I've been playing violin for four years now and I really can mark important moments in my life with music. It may seem freaking crazy and weird, but I have like this list of songs that just remind me of things. My childhood or a certain day or a certain person. Music has always been there to mark moments and stuff. When I listen to certain things, I just remember. And it's not always good remembering, but it's comforting, in a way.

There's this quote from One Tree Hill that's like, "You know how you find a song and you just listen to it, like, over and over and over again, until it becomes this, like, soundtrack, until you find a new one? Or, till you wanna forget the things that it reminds you of." That's how I feel like all of the time. Right now that one song is I Must Belong Somewhere by Bright Eyes. It just gives me hope, I guess, that even when things suck and I hate where I am, there's somewhere that I belong. That's what I love about music. It can give you the hope that you need or the outlet to cry or whatever. Like, I'll never get those feelings from writing my own music. For one thing, I'm terrible at that crap. And for another, there's something magical about being able to feel something that deep and that wonderful about something that someone else wrote and sings and things. I feel the same way about books, but in a different way. I don't know.

I know that a lot of teenagers feel deeply about music and they use it to express their angst toward life and post Facebook statuses showing that angst. In a lot of ways I'm that typical angsty teen but I feel like there are things that strike chords deeper than just that superficial crap. And now I sound like a holier-than-thou jerk and I don't know how to fix it so...

Until next time

xx D